Fear, induction of labour and birthing at home

I have been lucky enough to have Kay as my midwife for both of my beautiful babies.  We employed Kay an independent midwife as it was very important to me that I knew the midwife who would be with me throughout my pregnancy, and most importantly for the delivery of my baby.  I am naturally an anxious person, and after meeting Kay for a consultation I knew instantly that she was the perfect person to have by my side throughout my pregnancy and labour.  

I have delivered 2 babies, and Kay was my midwife for both of my pregnancies, however for the purposes of my birth story I shall detail my second baby, Peter, who was a home birth.

I had decided on a home birth for Peter for a couple of reasons.  The first being that I had had an uncomplicated birth in the Ashford MLU for my daughter Hattie and felt confident in my ability to birth without the need for an epidural.  The second and most important reason for having Peter at home, was that Hattie was only 14 months old on my due date and I did not want to leave her for any period of time. It was overwhelmingly important to me that she should sleep in her own cot, with her mum and dad right there if she needed us.  She was just a baby herself, and I didn't want to push her aside, even for one night. Having Peter at home would allow us to be present for her, with a neighbour on hand if we did have to leave for the hospital at short notice.

I felt very happy with my decision to birth at home, had the pool all set up and ready to go from around 37 weeks, however just like Hattie who was 10 days late, Peter didn't look to be in a rush to come and say hello on his due date either.

Over the 2 week period that Peter was overdue, I began to experience multiple periods of reduced movements, which lead me to be monitored at the QEQM Hospital.  Each time he appeared to be fine, but I would be reminded that I was overdue and should really consider an induction.  I was also HUGE, Peter was clearly a big baby, and this allowed the QEQM staff to put even more pressure on the ideals of an induction.  I told them that I was happy to wait until I was 42 weeks before even considering an induction. 

As the days went past, and the reduced movement continued, I started to become very anxious.  I was highly emotional due to the stress of looking after Hattie, as well as being heavily pregnant, and at 41+6 I headed back to the QEQM for my third bout of reduced movements.  After being monitored a consultant came to see me, to basically tell me that induction was now of high importance, that it was in my baby’s best interest, and that with my permission they would book me in for an induction that evening.  This was not what I wanted, I would have to be induced in hospital without my husband, as he would be at home with Hattie, and I would be welcoming Peter into the world without him by my side.  I told the staff I needed to think about it, called Kay, and asked that she meet me at home to discuss my options.  I explained to her that I was stressed and anxious, and she put my mind at rest that baby was fine, that he would come when he was ready.  I decided against induction, ran a bath, and felt confident that the baby would have a nice wriggle around to put my mind at ease.  Unfortunately, he didn't move an inch throughout my entire bath and by that point, 2 weeks overdue, exhausted and anxious, I told my husband I was going to have this baby tonight by induction.  I packed my hospital bag, called Kay and asked her to meet me at the hospital to be my birthing partner, kissed Hattie and was on my way.  It wasn't what I wanted, but I was frightened for my baby’s health and just wanted him out.

Upon arriving at William Harvey Hospital in Ashford I was taken to the labour ward which fortunately had a pool room available and was strapped up to the monitor ready for induction.  The consultant came to speak to me holding the induction pessary in a dish ready to go and detailed the process for me.  She explained that even though this was my second baby, inductions can sometimes take 48 hours and there was no guarantee how long it would take.  Immediately my brain switched into gear, there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to be away from Hattie for 48 hours, not a chance!  All of a sudden nothing felt right.  I told the consultant that I just couldn't go through with it, I needed to give baby more time and a chance to be born at home.  She told me about the risks, placenta failure etc, but giving birth in that hospital that night just wasn't going to happen.  It didn’t feel right and it wasn’t what I wanted.  I grabbed my bag and Kay and I walked out of the hospital.  I agreed with Kay that we would try another sweep (I had already had one a few days earlier with no luck) in the hopes that it might encourage him along, so we headed back to Kay’s house.

After the sweep, I headed straight home to my husband and Hattie. On the 45 minute drive home, what I thought were Braxton Hicks became stronger and stronger, until I reached my house and realised that he was FINALLY on his way.  I called Kay for what felt like the millionth time that week and she headed straight over.

I laid on the sofa from around 10pm with gas and air, breathing through my contractions.  I had done a hypnobirthing course which helped me focus on my breathing and was immensely helpful during both of my labours.  My waters finally broke at around 6am, and my husband and Kay helped me into the pool.  I remember hearing Kay say that she couldn't see the head at all, which was a surprise as I felt as though he was going to come out any moment.  Then, with what felt like 2 pushes, my beautiful 9lb 8oz boy made his way into the world.  He was finally here!

As planned, Hattie slept through the entire labour, and met her new baby brother when he was no more than 10 minutes old.

Having my baby at home was the most amazing experience.  I have nothing but fond memories when I think of his birth.  Kay was absolutely incredible.  She stayed with me all night, laid on my hard laminate floor, there to support me whenever I needed her.  She was also there to support my husband as he looked after our daughter, kept the pool the right temperature, and looked after me.

Having Kay with me felt like having a mum there, someone who cared for me, and who was part of the experience with me.

I am so so so happy that Kay delivered my beautiful Peter.  I could never imagine giving birth without her and she will be in my heart forever.