Home VBAC after traumatic first birth

Kay & Baby Blake

Without Kay, I wouldn’t have had Blake.

 My first baby was born in an NHS hospital. Following multiple interventions as I was ‘overdue’ he came into the world via an emergency c section. There were complications, my son was kept in SCBU and I was later re-admitted to hospital after discharge for further surgery. This made for a birth I recall as traumatic and left me with lasting feelings of anxiety, PTSD and postnatal depression. I had always wanted two children for as long as I can remember and whilst I had my perfect first born and all was now well, I longed to feel complete and fulfil my dream of becoming a family of four. I knew for me this was never going to happen in an NHS setting as the trauma was too deep and I had lost faith in their guidance and expectations of birth.

My expectations of birth were and would still be now...to feel safe, & secure so I could birth my baby naturally. I knew the place where I would feel this most would be at home. This was a far cry from what I had before and against what others would think is normal. Each time I suggested it to people they said I was brave or stupid even. I didn’t feel either of those, I just knew that was where I wanted to be when the time came. This is when I got in touch with Kay. The first time I rang Kent Midwifery Practice I wasn’t even pregnant nor trying. I just had to know someone was there for me before I could even comprehend getting pregnant again. From the moment I met Kay I totally trusted her and knew she would provide the care, support and guidance I needed to make this possible. When we got our positive pregnancy test result, I was over the moon and called Kay who came to meet us at home. She sat on our sofa like a lifelong friend listening to what we wanted and reassured us this was totally possible and safe.

Kay meet with us regularly throughout my pregnancy with hour long catch ups at home. Doing all my prenatal checks and giving me access to information, meant I was well informed and able to make decisions best for me, baby and our family. Alongside this I also did private hypnobirthing classes with my husband, which gave me a toolkit to help me labour naturally.  Soon enough my due date (which I forgot to say I did my best to forget and just trusted my body would go into labour when ready too) came and went. I felt comfortable with this and had no pressure at all to consider inductions etc as I had previously experienced with my first. If anything the morning before I went into labour I remember texting Kay as I was starting to feel fed up in the heat of summer and asked her to do a sweep when I was due to see her the next day for our planned catch up. That never happened as later that afternoon I was in the early stages of labour unbeknown to me.

The afternoon I went into labour I had popped round to a friend for a cuppa, gone down to the beach hut with my son to play, cooked dinner and bathed and put my son to bed. I had what I thought were Braxton Hicks but looking back my body was in early labour; I just hadn’t recognised it as this time I was so calm about it all. Very different from before! About 8pm that evening I said to my husband I was going to have a warm bath and early night as I didn’t feel right, so I did just that and got some sleep. I woke at 10pm and I knew I was in labour.  I put a tens machine on and managed to get some more sleep to 12.30am, when I called Kay and she came over. My husband got the pool ready and the next few hours I spent in and out of the pool, in different positions, walking round and genuinely feeling comfortable and at ease. My sister arrived early morning to take my son to Nan and Granddads and then came back to be my 2nd birth partner. She commented as she came into the house how it reminded her of a ‘Lush’ shop with the smells of aromatherapy in the air and the hypnobirthing music playing. It was a pure sense of calm, it was lovely!

I vividly remember the transition period when I was sat on the toilet.  I found this really comfortable throughout contractions- must have been the squat position. I was begging Kay, my husband and my sister to take me to hospital as I couldn’t do it anymore, I wanted an epidural and c section. Lol! As if I did …that was the last thing I actually wanted!

Luckily they didn’t listen to me but respectfully reminded me I didn’t want that and suggested I go and lay down on my bed on my side to change positions.

I did this and things progressed quickly my waters broke, at this point Kay told me I had lots of meconium in the waters. She advised we call for an ambulance and transfer to hospital. Something we had discussed beforehand for if something comes up that could be an emergency. I was happy to take her advice so an ambulance was called. However, my body had other ideas and by the time the ambulance arrived, I was pushing and our baby was born at home in our bedroom. Safe and sound. Kay checked all was well and the ambulance left. For the next hour I just laid with my baby and took him all in. Uninterrupted and in pure love, wonder and amazement. I couldn’t believe I had done it!

Kay stayed with us for a couple of hours to make sure all ok. I had a bath with my baby and then my son came back from Nannie and grandads and were all cuddled up together and spent the day just the four of us as our new little family.

This time was so precious to me and I can’t thank Kay enough for all she did before, during and after.